Sunday, June 20, 2010

How interesting

For the first time in ages, I decided to see what search terms were leading people to my blog. Obviously, most of them were nail or nail polish related. Here are the ones that made me laugh my ass off:

1. Only god can judge me now (that's right, because nail polish bloggers are HARDCORE, bitches)
2. Assnude (Yeah, one word. I have no idea either. I sort of want to use this term a LOT now. Assnude! Assnude! Assnude assnude assnude! Yeeeah!!! My inner 12-year-old is giggling her ass(nude) off now!)
3. Nasty toenails (I TOLD YOU my feet were jacked up!)
4. Butt ugly (Yeah. Butt ugly assnude.)
5. Lissa's Feet (Ok. I've had random strangers on Flickr add pictures of my feet to their favorites before. Usually these people are foot fetishists and go around adding random pictures of feet to their favorites on Flickr. This is just getting creepy. Plus, I have ugly feet.)
6. Lissa Rinna nude (Pretty sure they meant "Lisa." I bet they were sorely disappointed in this blog.)
7. What is apocalypse (Valid search, not sure why my blog shows up on the results... unless my blog is a sign of the apocalypse!)
8. Thick and nasty (Uhhhh... huh huhuhuhhhuhuh. Yeah. That's what SHE said.)
9. Lissa nude (REALLY hope those pics aren't on the internet!)
10. Only god can judge me in Chinese. (So people can judge you in other languages? KICK ASS!)
11. Black vulva (Again... I bet they were disappointed.)
12. Bubble butts galore (More like disappointment galore!)
13. Leprechaun couple (I need to meet these people.)
14. Butt ugly women (Well, opinions are like assholes... I may fit this category!)
15. Only god can judge me in Arabic (Ok, so no Chinese and no Arabic. I'll judge you in Italian, then.)
16. Bacon bubble gum (INTERESTING concept. I wanna try it!)

Okay, I was gonna go to 20, but really, it's a lot of variations of "only god can judge me," "bubble butts," and "leprechauns." WHAT THE HELL. There was also a "nude over 50" in there.

Sorry, I'm not over 50. YET. I will be 32 in 3.5 weeks. CRAP. True story -- I drank excessively the entire day when I turned 30 in 2008. So I woke up the morning of July 15, 2008 and vomited excessively. It was a particularly unpleasant welcome to my 30s, but I was NOT HAPPY about turning 30, not one bit. Now it's okay. I'm happier in my 30s than I ever was in my 20s, I'm more stable both emotionally and financially, and things are okay. But still, nobody likes to get older. :)


  1. funny :)

    where can I see what terms are lading people to my blog? :)

  2. @Anček - Go to your Blogger dashboard (, then at the bottom you will see a link under "Tools and Resources" that says "Webmaster Tools." Go there. You may need to add your site if you've never set this up before. Once you add it, you can click on your site's name and it shows you all sorts of interesting things, like how many pageviews you have, and how many people visit your blog based on what search terms. Good stuff!

  3. Oh my God! So funny, and kinda crazy!

  4. I'm rather excited my non polish related are mostly:
    Erotic, Exotic, 666, death on the road, Juggs blogs, Black magic, Big ass girl, nude big ass,
    holographic meatloaf(I want to see one too), Sexy Angel, Dominatrix Angel, Viking girl (I am part), porn, and some that I would have to bleep out. lol

  5. @Evil Angel - How the HECK did you get holographic meatloaf? That's awesome!

  6. Great post. This made me laugh. :)

  7. OMG...these are making me laugh so hard. I'm off to see what travesty I have created.

  8. Lol. Thanks for posting. I haven't laughed that hard in quite a while:)

  9. These are too funny - off to check mine out now, though I'm sure they won't be as good as yours

  10. hahaha - this was fabulous....

    'Only god can judge me now (that's right, because nail polish bloggers are HARDCORE, bitches)'

    'leprechan couple'....... i am so google image-ing that. I like your blog and DO NOT think it is the sign of the apocalypse.